ps. Yes, Mitch Hedberg was a comedian. Here are my favorite quotes/jokes:

They say that the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. But I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that. "Hey, you want some Sprite man?" "Not until you figure out what the fuck else is in it!"

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

I was walking down the street, and I saw a wino eating grapes. I was like, dude, you have to wait.